Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields it’s fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does he prospers.
The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away.
Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;
for the LORD knows he way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.
I’m one of those people who like to kill two birds with one stone; you know, one of those ridiculous multi-taskers that either gets things done but maybe not as well as they could have been done or stands back, hands on hips, and nods head in approval of a “job” well done. I’ve found this system to be rather inconsistent, but alas, there are times when things just need to get done.
Over this past month, I have had undeniable conviction. This isn’t your typical ‘moment’ of conviction i.e. when you do something you shouldn’t or didn’t do something you should. This is the always pressing, grief causing, and repentance stirring conviction. This is serious heart work, an unmasking of a flaw of character. Embracing transparency, I will tell you that I ignored the constant echo in my heart. I simply didn’t want to deal with it. I wanted to hold off the teachable season.
A large part of my reason for wanting God to withhold this season was that I was already working on so much. I truthfully didn’t want to deal with anymore. I don’t remember the exact moment it happened, but I remember Him simply revealing to me that it was my working on too much that was the issue. You see, if I notice a character flaw in me, I add it to my ‘to-do’ list of things to change. Currently, there’s about 7 things on that list right now.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to change those seven things. The problem comes in where I try to change all seven at once, which leads to very inconsistent heart work. When trying to sift through habits that have been formed, when trying to sort through things you’ve learned, when trying to unlearn lies you heart believes, when trying to destroy false perspectives, when trying to instill discipline, it’s better to tackle them one at a time.
One thing I wanted to work on was my meditation on the scripture. I want the word of God to become a part of me, to be etched into my heart, and to overflow out of my mouth. In order for that to happen I need to spend more time really soaking in the word, studying it, taking it apart and putting it back together. I need to memorize the life-giving words that will be effective in battle, give me comfort in times of need, and heal my heart. I started in the book of Psalms. Psalm 1 is where my world fell apart, and God put it back together the way it was intended to be.
The first stanza opened my eyes to the importance of being rooted and consistently in the word. Do you notice the progression of first lines? First he walks. He is surrounded by non-believers where-ever he goes, he walks among them, but if rooted in the word, does not listen to their counsel, and the Lord counts him blessed. Second, he stands. Our friend is not rooted in the word and began to listen to the counsel of the unbelievers he walked among. Now he stands among them, he doesn’t pass through. Lastly, he sits. He no longer is a beaming light of a different color, but radiates the same dull, hopeless color as the rest of the world. He has forsaken the word of the Lord for the counsel of man. He has lost his delight in the Lord. If the word of God is not rooted in us, if it is not our delight, if we don’t understand the privilege we have and what a blessing it is, and take advantage of it, we will slowly follow this pattern, and the piece of our heart that was once filled to the brim with hope of salvation, the joy of Jesus, and the overflow of love bestowed on us will be unsatisfied, longing for what it once had.
As if that wasn’t enough conviction to pull from a passage, the Lord led me to glean the most profound piece of truth that I ever needed to hear: …that yields it’s fruit in its season… Now, that was a shot to my multi-tasking heart, but one that I am grateful to have taken. As I let that statement sink in, all I could hear was His sweet, sweet voice whisper to my heart: My child, slow down, slow down; find your refuge in me. Don’t try to fix everything at once, you are beautiful, you are loved, just as you are. You are my work of art that I shape daily to reflect me, more and more. You are becoming everything I created you to be. Let me prune your heart, and develop character in its due season. Do not rush this, MY timing is PERFECT. Rest in my all-knowing, all-powerful presence. Take heart in knowing that I will not leave you unfinished, for I am faithful to finish what I start, I will not forsake you, my love, my daughter, my child; rest in knowing you are mine.
My heart is still absorbing this Truth. My desire to see results as quickly as possible, does not abide well with His perfect timing. I need to slow down, and really let genuine heart work happen. I need to be rooted in the word, so that I will bear fruit in its due season. Spending time pouring over the word, just me and Jesus. Being established in prayer, so as to keep a repentant heart, a heart that exults her God, a heart that is in tune with the Spirit.
My Jesus, my precious Jesus, my Lord, my Savior, my Treasure- You will not forsake me.
You are God unchangeable
The solid rock to which I cling
I will run to you my refuge
In Your shelter find my peace