Sticky Little Fingers

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“Pray about everything: then leave the outcomes up to Me. Do not fear My will, for through it I accomplish what is best for you. Take a deep breath and dive into the depths of absolute trust in Me…”

I lift up my concerns, my dreams, my goals up to God in prayers. That I am faithful about doing. But my lifting up often still leaves me holding on. Hanging on to things that were never intended for me to hold leaves me feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and uncertain. I see this pattern repeat itself often in my life. Some things I can let go of easier than others. Sometimes I have to lift it up once, and it’s all His. Other times i’m asking Him each hour to take this from me, confessing my deep need for control, putting my trust back in Him. Sometimes it’s moment by moment. I think I get discouraged because I sometimes have this warped sense of failure because I have to give it up to God hour by hour, moment by moment, but oddly enough, that’s when I find the most comfort, when I feel God’s grace, mercy, and love being lavished on me. I forget that to God, dependance on Him is a sign of maturity, having to lean on Him moment by moment brings Him joy. That’s hard for someone as independent as myself.

I have this deep desire for God to be the one who writes the story of my life, the story of each day. But I often get my sticky little fingers in the way of His plan. Stealing His dreams for me away from Him and replacing it with my second-hand substitute. Being a glory stealer. Getting in the way.

When I think about this, I often get the picture of Peter walking on the water. I’m walking on the water. All the things that I have given to God are the waves around me. When I let Him have it all, walking is easier. But I often find myself looking all around me, searching for the next choice to make, the next thing to do, the potential problems, and then I find myself half-drowning, half-living.

I find great comfort in knowing that whether I’m sinking or swimming, praising or cursing, remembering Him or putting Him on the back shelf, His love for me never changes. He will never take his love away, even when my sticky little fingers get in the way….

I will not take my love away
When praises cease and seasons change
while the whole world turns the other way
I will not take my love away
I will not leave you all alone
When striving leads you far from home
And there’s no yield for what you’ve sown
I will not leave you all alone
I will give you what you need
In plenty or in poverty
Forever, always, look to me
And I will give you what you need                                                                                                           ~Matt Wertz

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