Keeping Me Alive…

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Watched the sun set over the river tonight, touched my heart in a place that hasn’t been reached in quite some time. Numbness has been all too dear of a friend as of late. I regret letting it seep in so deep, but complacency isn’t always easily detected.

As I am preparing to leave for Kenya on Saturday, I’ve been thinking about why I’m going. And to be honest up until tonight, I wasn’t really sure. I knew that I was called to go, but God had not revealed why. I was listening to Starfield this afternoon and heard “Alive in this Moment”. It spoke volumes. That’s why I’m going. To feel alive.

It’s been too long since my heart has broken for what breaks God’s heart, for the injustices of this world. It’s been too long since i’ve shed tears for the children without a mom and dad, for the single mom barely making it by, for the families without clean water, for those trapped in slavery, for those who are so close to ending it all, for those who desperately need to know the love of Jesus.

I think that’s one of the most dangerous things that can happen to Christians; is for us to become numb and distant from the world around us. To get comfortable.

We are not called to be comfortable. Jesus said “Come, Follow Me.” He didn’t say, “Follow Me, but fist grab whatever you’d like to take with you.” If you asked me, would I follow? Do I love you more than my comfort? Do I long to please you more than allow myself the pleasures of this earth?

I’m not saying that having things that make us comfortable is bad. God blesses us immensely more than we deserve, and allows us comfort beyond what we need. Comfort becomes bad when we place our security in the things that make us comfortable. If your things were gone tomorrow, would you be at a complete loss, or know that it doesn’t matter in the end anyway? I don’t know where I am on this. In my heart I know that if all my stuff was gone tomorrow, that God would take care of me, but there is still a part of me that would long for those things back. I don’t know if it’s my need to have something tangible for security or so that I have a feeling of control.

Comfort is the lead cause for numbness. Numbness creates distance between God and yourself. Distance from God leads to death.

Jesus, break my heart for what breaks yours, make me uncomfortable with how the world is, open my eyes to the injustices around me, keep me from complacency, keep me from ignorance, keep me alive.

I challenge you, and myself to find something that breaks your heart, whether it’s children without food, single mothers struggling, children with broken homes, the elderly that are forgotten, or aids orphans halfway across the world; pursue what breaks your heart with all you have, and watch God bring you back to life.

“Alive In This Moment by Starfield”

It’s been so long since I have met You here
Since I have said these words or cried these tears
And like a child would come I run into our secret place
And as the music fades, the tears are rolling down my face

I am alive in this moment
In this moment I am found
I am alive in this moment
In this moment I belong

It’s been so long since I have met You here
Since I have heard You speak or let You near
And like a wayward son I’ve come with nothing left to hide
Here in this moment I have come to offer up my life

Here only one fire burns, it burns
Here only one melody is heard
Once again for the very first time
My eyes are opening

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